How To Increase Your Influence with One Word

By Chakisse Newton, President, Cardinal Consulting, LLC

Could one word improve your ability to influence others? In a word, yes. Whether you are trying to build consensus in a meeting, close a sale, or craft a good presentation, you can increase your influence and improve your results if you remember to ask a simple, one-word question: “why?”

Why is “why” such an important word?

The key to influence and persuasion is to understand the motivations of the person you want to influence, but many times those motivations are not apparent. At a recent charity event, the CEO of a non-profit, with whom I have a very good relationship, said, “Tell me about all the great work you’re doing with our friends at [Insert Client Name here].” Surprised by the question and wanting to appear modest (don’t ask me why), I said, “I don’t know that I’m doing so much work with them, but we’ve been working on improving the effectiveness of their sales force.”

The CEO later told me that he wanted my help on a project and that my client (and his friend) had referred me. He was not making pleasant conversation when he asked about my work; he was evaluating my suitability for a project. Understanding why he asked the question would have allowed me to give a better answer, be more efficient with our time and position us for the next step in the sales process.

Another benefit of pausing to ask “why” is that it shows courtesy. Most of us have been taught to answer immediately whenever we are asked something. But when you pause before immediately responding, it keeps the focus of the conversation on the listener and heightens anticipation for your response. Your listener knows that when you do answer, you have given appropriate consideration to their needs and/or request.

How to ask

Asking “why” helps in almost any situation where you are asked for information. Here are a few ways to further your understanding depending on the circumstances:

• Why do you ask?

• What is your ultimate goal?

• Why is that important to you?

• How does that fit with your other priorities?

• That’s an interesting question, why do you ask?

• What do you want to achieve by [insert course of action here]?

• I’m sure you have a reason for saying that, would you share it with me?

Fortunately for me, the business opportunity with the CEO was not lost. Make sure that you’re not missing out on opportunities by using the simple word, “why.” It is an easy technique that will immediately increase your understanding and your influence. Why not start practicing now?

 © 2010 Chakisse Newton. All Rights Reserved.